Yeah-But She Has A Great Personality

My friend Roy had a sister who had a friend. Roy's sister Kristina frightened us. One day she told Roy she wanted me to go out with her friend-no questions asked. Roy didn't ask any but I did. I asked Roy if she was cute. Roy couldn't answer. I got queasy. Roy snapped back with the She has a great personality line. I don't know about you but if you get the "nice personality" line, it wasn't hopeful. I decided to meet her because I enjoyed being alive. So I rode my sting ray with the banana seat to Roy's house, walked in the front door and saw this pretty girl and Kristina. My knees went wobbly-my mouth went dry and I think I blurted out something unintelligible that sounded like Hi…The girls laughed and I went to Roy's room. Our little chat went something like this:

Bob: "Where is she?"

Roy: "Who?"

Bob: "The girl with the great personality"

Roy: "She's in the front room with my sister"

Bob: "I thought you said she had a great p-e-r-s-o-n-a-l-i-t-y"

Roy: "She does, why?

Bob: "But she's cute"

Roy: "What's wrong with you?"

Bob: "I don't know"

It was true I didn't know what was wrong with me. I have been on both ends of the "Nice Personality" excuse before. I also was a victim of the "It's not you -it's me" and the"Let's just be friends" line before. So you could see why I was gun shy. But I learned two things that day:

First: Everyone has a personality independent of their looks.

Second: I hit the jackpot-a good looking girl with a great personality.

We dated three weeks then she dumped me. On the dump day she told me "I was nice but not her type". That's a new one, I thought. That actually got me thinking "well what is my type?" I would find out soon enough. In fact I found out my type is a four letter word…The story continues next post.

How Carl Jung Helped Me Find My Inner Pirate: Part 2

This is part 2 in my series "How Carl Jung Helped Me Find My Inner Pirate". In part1 we discover that our Instincts and dispositions are found in the deepest level of the psyche. These instincts are known as Archetypes. So let's begin part 2 by breaking down what archetypes are and how they impact our behavior.

Archetypes are dispositions, traits and instincts which form our personality. I have a tendency to act a certain way depending on my disposition. For example, I have a tendency to make people laugh even in tense situations.

Have you ever heard a person say "I tend to procrastinate" or "I tend to be shy around strangers? This tendency comes from our archetypes which compel us to act a certain way. I am unaware of my archetypes because they are just below the radar-outside of my awareness. I just react instinctively without thinking it through. But I could bring them to my awareness attaching them to an image or a figure that I identify with. I see beauty in a princess or bravery in a prince.

Carl identified these images as archetypical images. The archetype is only a pattern of human traits we all share-not the real thing. One of Carl's images was The
Hero. In the Hero I see traits such as courage, discipline and strength and from these traits the hero act accordingly.

Batman and the Joker

My friend Allan and I usually begin conversations with the phrase "pull my finger." That's how deep we get. But there are times when we talk about the finer things of life like Batman the Dark Knight-the movie. What really animated our water cooler conversation this time was the confrontation between Batman and the Joker. Batman was the image of good. The Joker was the image of evil. Batman's instincts were towards good. The Joker's instincts were towards evil. Batman and the Joker personified two human instincts. These unseen instincts were brought to my awareness through these two characters.

When we were young and even now there are certain characters or figures that intrigue us. Why? Because they symbolize certain traits that we have and this brings me back to my fascination with the pirate. I have certain traits and instincts in me that are seen through the image of the pirate-of course the good qualities such an adventurous spirit, a self determination and a strong will.

Full Circle back to the Pirate

For me it was the Pirate for you it may be the Princess. Almost every woman I know believes she is a princess. I have two friends who are sisters. They each believe they are the princess. One time there was a tense standoff between the two princesses. It was something to behold. It finally resolved but I was thinking it would have made a great Ultimate Cage Fight match.

Carl Jung helped me discover that my interest in pirates was a way of tapping into my unseen traits. This helped me become aware of my true personality. When I bring my unseen traits to my awareness the more authentic I become. This is the first step on the road of self awareness. Carl Jung believed "it is only possible to live the fullest life when we are in harmony with these symbols-wisdom is a return to them." 1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_archetypes

In the next post we will take a look at certain personality traits Carl developed. These traits form the Meyers Briggs personality test.

What images in your life have you related to? How would you describe their dispositions or traits?

Funeral for A Friends Mom

I went to a funeral today. My friends mother passed away and she left a wonderful gift to her family. Faith and Heritage. Everyone has a story to tell. A life narrative. I saw the story play out in the hour I spent at the mass today. We all have a personal story and a family story. I never met my friends mom. I wish I had. But I saw and heard the story in my friend today.

Heritage is the story about life in the past-Faith is the story about life everlasting. My friends mom had a relationship with Jesus and she passed this down to her kids not just in her words but in her deeds. When the kids were sick, she came and comforted them, when they got in trouble she showed them grace. Her faith sustained her through her sickness and her faith comforted us in the church today.

The story did not end today, it continues in the lives of those who believe. For one day we will see my friends mom again in heaven. When you die what will your story be?...For Margaret it was a story of faith in Jesus and a wonderful heritage she passed on down...

Jesus invites you to be a part of this story...

How Carl Jung Helped Me Find My Inner Pirate

"Be true to yourself". I mean, really. What does this mean? Let me break it down for you in on word: Authenticity. I don't mean to get existential on you but Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character.(1). So, "being true to yourself" is being authentic. Authenticity is key to maturity.

Enter Carl Jung. Carl Jung was a famous psychologist and friend of Sigmund Freud. Sigmund and Carl spent a lot of time together on the speaking circuit. They were like BFF's. One day, Carl told Sigmund he had a dream. They both loved to analyze each others dreams.

Carl said he dreamed of being in a two story house on the top floor. The top floor was decked out with paintings and modern furniture circa 1900-a lot of bronze ornaments, hanging tapestry,cobalt blue vases and the smell of moth balls. Carl liked the house and wanted to live in it but he hadn't seen the bottom floor. He climbed down the curved staircase holding carefully to the cast iron banister. The first floor had a medieval feel to it-a much older looking decor. He noted the stone slab floor. One slab had a large ring on it. Carl pulled on the ring and it opened a secret door. As Carl walked down the dark narrow steps, it led into a cavern where he saw bones, skeletons and two skulls. Sigmund was amazed at Carl's description and said "I could analyze it". He said it quickly because Carl was scaring him with the story and he wanted Carl to shut up already. Carl said "OK, take your best shot". So Sigmund told him the "two skulls and bones mean you have a death wish against the owners of the house". Sigmund had it wrong.

The house represented the human psyche. The house had three levels. My mind has three levels the conscious, unconscious and collective unconscious. The collective unconscious was the cavern part of the house. It is the deepest and most primitive part of the human mind. The Collective Unconscious contains my instincts, dispositions and potentiality. Carl called these qualities Archetypes. What's an archetype and how does it relate to the Pirate? I'll explain that in my next post...

1. Wikipedia

Confessions of a Middle Aged Man

Here it goes:

I am a Pirate.

But first a disclaimer:

I have never plundered, pillaged, murdered or caused mayhem. There is a downside to being a pirate of course; they have short life spans, missing limbs, bad hygiene and no dental plan. A lot of pirates were murderers, criminals, drunks and thieves. I do work in Human Resources and I can tell you, we frown on "bad pirate behavior".

I got my first pirate eye patch when I was seven. When I was eight, I acquired a peg leg and hook, the basic pirate necessities. I was quickly on my way to a swashbuckling career. My grandpa worked at the Long Beach Naval shipyard. He would take my brothers and I to see the ships that came in for repairs. Many times, we were able to board these beauties. We would pretend we were pirates. I wanted to join the Navy and sail around the world. I later found out that John Paul Jones, the father of the Navy, was considered a "treacherous pirate" by the British. The pirate life was set for me that day. I was clear about that.

Thirty years have passed since those boyhood pirate adventures and now as an adult; the lure of the pirate in me is still calling. Every year, on September 19th, I celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day with my coworkers. We plunder and pillage without violating our polices and procedures. When I take my family to Disneyland, I go on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride over and over. I even line jump, if necessary. I still like to wear the eye patch. I wore it all day and had a headache for eight hours.

I'm not alone among my adult friends, with this pirate pastime. My coworker has a large cardboard cutout of Captain Jack Sparrow. It stands menacingly in the corner of her office. I walk in and Captain Jack is staring at me; it's somewhat unsettling. To be honest, I think it's more Johnny Depp than Jack Sparrow that has her attention. I'm older now and looking back, I know I've romanticized the pirate life.

To me a pirate was a self confident and brave adventurer. I was the opposite. In high school I was insecure-a follower, not willing to take a risk. I was 14 years old and felt that life had already given me a beat down. I wanted to win the approval of others. I lost myself in the process. Also, in high school I resorted to being the class clown. I sought out the attention. It was pitiful. I see these kids today and on the outside they look hardened, but inside there is a little girl or boy crying out for affirmation. The pirate became my link to the things I needed most in life and I later found out this inner pirate was still helping me discover my true self. I'll tell you how in my next post: How Carl Jung Helped Me Find My Inner Pirate.