Saturday, October 16, 2010

Live Free or Die

New Hampshire's state motto is "Live Free or Die." I like the ring to that-Live Free or Die-Yeah! Well, it sounds good until you're confronted with it. Freedom demands responsibility. Responsibility and Freedom are inseparable. A philosopher once said "Freedom is not the power to do what you want but the power to do what you ought."

Life's a struggle between two powerful and competing desires-to be free or to be taken care of. It's easy to choose the latter. Having others take care of me is safe, convenient and a life not worth living. As I defer my responsibility to others, I give up the ability to govern myself and I slowly die inside-Live Free or Die.

Freedom is a hard road to travel. It takes courage to make my own way in spite of my circumstances. But along the way I discover my true self and become authentic. I step out from the safety and invisibility of the crowd and stand alone as an individual. I become an "I" and no longer a "they." I am authentic and free.

Living the free life means I stop blaming others for my circumstances-I refuse to be a victim and take charge of my own life. Living the free life demands that I stop the narcissistic naval gazing and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. "Freedom" requires me to break the chains of the past and not allow my current predicament to define me.

I live among others as an individual. I'm obligated to others because I am free-I make that choice-it's not dictated to me. Victor Frankl, who survived the cruelties of a concentration camp and later wrote the seminal book "Man's Search for Meaning" stated that "everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

To "live free" is a choice, a hard one to be sure, but a worthwhile endeavor. Will you live free or die?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

“Love” Let Me Count the Ways

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "The 4 Loves." I saw all 4 this morning at a bagel and bread place called Panera. I observed Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity within 30 minutes. First, I noticed a young couple in a booth, holding hands while eating. Never mind the fine motor skills it takes to accomplish this, but they appeared "in love."

Across from the "love birds" was a group of men discussing the bible and the BCS college football standings. Next to them, was a middle age man and his young daughter. The little girl was wiggling in her chair, singing a song about butterflies. The man smiled, hummed a few bars and quietly told the little one to be still and finish her food.

In all three conversations, love was being expressed. Love can be communicated many ways and is essential to cultivating a meaningful relationship where intimacy, care and regard for the other person are nurtured. C.S. Lewis describes the 4 Loves as:

Affection or Storge is a fondness through familiarity, a natural love without coercion.

Friendship or Phileo is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity.

Eros is the sense of being 'in love' which is distinct from sexuality which Lewis calls Venus. Eros can have a sexual expression but it does not define this love.

Charity or Agape is the unconditional care for a person regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes charity as the greatest of loves. He sees it as a Christian virtue. This love is expressed in God's unconditional love for us.

In the relationships we form, one or more of these "loves" is displayed. As I observed the "love fest" going on this morning, it gave me a sense of hope, in spite of all the anger and hate out there-love rules-let me count the ways. 
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