A Thanksgiving “Gratitude Adjustment”

Thanksgiving is a time to appreciate the things we have and not demand the things we don't. For one moment, can we stop long enough and give thanks? Gratitude will help us get back on track. Gratitude is on the "endangered virtue list." I'm calling for Gratitude Adjustment this Thanksgiving. When I allow gratitude to work its way in my heart-an adjustment takes place to the way I respond to life's trials and joy's-I begin to appreciate the things I have.

The philosopher Cicero said "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others". Gratitude is a virtue and a virtue is a Habit of the Heart. We choose what we allow to marinate in our hearts. Below are three gratitude adjustments we can pursue this thanksgiving:

Gratitude frees us from worry: Worry is a powerful emotion that intrudes my present state of mind. When I worry I cannot accept what is, instead I worry about what will be. Gratitude brings me back to the present-accepting what is. It's difficult to worry and appreciate at the same time.

Gratitude removes the insatiable need of demanding "my rights". It's hard to demand and appreciate at the same time. The more I appreciate-the less I demand. There is no guarantee I will wake up tomorrow. Life is a gift from a loving God and the rights I have are given to me by Him. That's my starting point. Some people I know put their trust in politics or other things for their well being. It seems to me they spend a lot of emotional energy being angry about life's unfairness-ironically some of them blame it on a God they do not believe in.

Gratitude cracks the illusions I created about life and brings my expectations back down to earth: "Reality Bites" as the saying goes and when I don't like reality-I create my own. If I live in an illusion-I hold un-realistic expectations to fit this world. And these self-deluded expectations don't match with reality; therefore they can never be met so I become disappointed. Gratitude brings me and my expectations back down to earth. When my expectations match reality I appreciate what I have. I cannot be disappointed and appreciate at the same time.

I admit, I need a "gratitude adjustment" sometimes as I am pulled into a culture that emphasizes the "what's-in-it-for-me" attitude. So this thanksgiving let's all stop for a moment and be grateful for what we have and allow gratitude to soak through our soul and see how appreciation will replace all our self centered attitudes.

Turning 50

I'm at Starbucks listening to Todd Rundgren's "Hello It's Me" on my iTunes-a retro song on a new gadget. I've been in this "time warp" lately. My mind is being transported back to the days of my youth. You see I turned 50 a few days ago and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Am I getting old or am I getting older? "Older" I can live with, but "Old" sounds, well-Old.

Turning 50 for a Man today has its challenges. Men need to have a purpose. Turning 50 in a young man's world gives me pause. I'm not whining and I refuse to be a victim. Turning 50 has its advantages and I still enjoy hanging out with my younger friends. But I began to notice some changes in the way I thought about my future, my life and my manhood. I noticed that the ambitions I had at 30 were no longer relevant at 50. When I was 30, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. But at 50 I'm climbing down that ladder. When I was 30, the race was before me-at 50 the finish line is before me. It's time to pass the baton-which is my legacy.

My friend Perry said "turning 50 is like sitting on a mountain peak, where you could look in the distance 30 years and see 80. Then turn and look 30 years behind you and see 20". 50 is the equi-center and I am now entering the second half. My task is to find a balance between feeling like a 25 year old and not acting like one.

There's a difference between being Cool and being Creepy. I can enjoy the company of my young friends without trying desperately to be like them. I use the "cool and creepy" test for most my interactions, like what I put on my Facebook status, to how I talk to a young lady.

The other thing I began to notice was, the things that bothered me in the past were no longer the "pebble in my shoe" today. I asked myself if the regrets and unresolved issues of my past are really worth carrying into the next phase. I could see the finish line. I want to finish the race without out that old baggage weighing me down.

Turning 50 is a gateway to the next phase of life and I'm going into it without the hang-ups of the past. Turning 50 helped me clarify what is most important in life and that is My Faith-My Family and My Friends.

Turning 50 is cool.