Confessions of a Middle Aged Man

Here it goes:

I am a Pirate.

But first a disclaimer:

I have never plundered, pillaged, murdered or caused mayhem. There is a downside to being a pirate of course; they have short life spans, missing limbs, bad hygiene and no dental plan. A lot of pirates were murderers, criminals, drunks and thieves. I do work in Human Resources and I can tell you, we frown on "bad pirate behavior".

I got my first pirate eye patch when I was seven. When I was eight, I acquired a peg leg and hook, the basic pirate necessities. I was quickly on my way to a swashbuckling career. My grandpa worked at the Long Beach Naval shipyard. He would take my brothers and I to see the ships that came in for repairs. Many times, we were able to board these beauties. We would pretend we were pirates. I wanted to join the Navy and sail around the world. I later found out that John Paul Jones, the father of the Navy, was considered a "treacherous pirate" by the British. The pirate life was set for me that day. I was clear about that.

Thirty years have passed since those boyhood pirate adventures and now as an adult; the lure of the pirate in me is still calling. Every year, on September 19th, I celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day with my coworkers. We plunder and pillage without violating our polices and procedures. When I take my family to Disneyland, I go on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride over and over. I even line jump, if necessary. I still like to wear the eye patch. I wore it all day and had a headache for eight hours.

I'm not alone among my adult friends, with this pirate pastime. My coworker has a large cardboard cutout of Captain Jack Sparrow. It stands menacingly in the corner of her office. I walk in and Captain Jack is staring at me; it's somewhat unsettling. To be honest, I think it's more Johnny Depp than Jack Sparrow that has her attention. I'm older now and looking back, I know I've romanticized the pirate life.

To me a pirate was a self confident and brave adventurer. I was the opposite. In high school I was insecure-a follower, not willing to take a risk. I was 14 years old and felt that life had already given me a beat down. I wanted to win the approval of others. I lost myself in the process. Also, in high school I resorted to being the class clown. I sought out the attention. It was pitiful. I see these kids today and on the outside they look hardened, but inside there is a little girl or boy crying out for affirmation. The pirate became my link to the things I needed most in life and I later found out this inner pirate was still helping me discover my true self. I'll tell you how in my next post: How Carl Jung Helped Me Find My Inner Pirate.