When death comes knocking

My dad is not doing well. He is in the last stages of a disease that will take him soon. It is becoming clearer to me, how brief our life on this earth is. Life is like the fog; it envelopes us in the morning, and burns off by noon.

As I look through a 4^th story window in the hospital where my dad is being treated, I can see the town where he spent many healthy years as a young man, cutting his path in life.

And now, just a few miles away, he lies in this hospital bed at the end of that journey; one can say this is the ‘circle of life.’ As King Solomon says ‘Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.’

I am also confronted with the notion that when my dad passes, the barrier between mortality and me is removed. And now I come face to face with my own death. Death has come knocking, not only for my dad, but for me, as I contemplate its purpose.

Existential Psychotherapist, Dr. Irvin Yalom says, “Death rumbles continuously under the surface, it is a dark unsettling presence at the rim of consciousness.”  

Death is a human ‘boundary’ that fences us in a world, that is temporal and transitory; a life where all things fade. We only have a brief time on this earth, and the ‘attachments’ I hold on to will burn-off like the fog.

So death is no longer an ‘academic question’ for me, it is here and real. I catch myself taking inventory of what really matters. I ask myself if the things I hold onto really mean much?

My mind flashes to the past resentments or anger at being wronged; all this comes into play when death comes knocking at the door. How much more should I throw those things off that tether me to this earth.

I am a Christian, and along with my dad we stand ‘in Christ’ and await the hope of eternal life. I completely understand ‘death’ has no power; I get that. But while I am here, on this earth right now, I am confronted with deaths’ finality on this side of heaven.   

We ‘believers’ sometimes miss ‘deaths’ lessons. It was easy to brush it aside-until now. Death is here; in my face, and now I understand who I am and my limitations. It is becoming clearer what really counts in this life, and what I can let go of.

With this lesson in mind, my faith is strengthened; not only in the knowledge that my dad will be in a better place, but while on this earth there are some things not worth being attached to.

When death comes knocking I will hold on to Faith-Hope and Love and from there, I will decide what really matters.  

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