I worry a lot. But in recent years I've been able to find my footing. Yet worry still lingers in the dark corners of my mind. Two months ago, I became re-acquainted with my old friend. I was jolted out of my sleep with burning chest pain, unable to catch my breath and couldn't swallow. I thought "WOW, this is THE BIG ONE" as Fred Sanford told his son Lamont in the TV show "Sanford and Son."
It wasn't the big one. The crazy thing is, I've never had the "Big One". Over the years the "Big One" has never come. But worry doesn't care about facts. So the thoughts of what happened that night kept my mind on a DEFCON 5-high alert. I found myself mentally scanning for an abnormal signs in my body. Shortness of breath, heartburn and a lump in throat, all became threats.
One definition of worry is "an incessant goading to the point of despair." For me, this goading moves along a predictable pattern. Troubling thoughts turn to fear and fear turns to anxiety and anxiety turns to research on WebMD. But this time I recognized the journey towards despair and pulled out. In the past, I would've jumped on the internet and read up on GERD and barium swallows. Worry is like rust-it eats away at my peace of mind.
Life is a series of moving moments and worry robbed me of living fully in the moment. So I changed the pattern: when the troubling thought comes, I don't fight it, I allow it to come, identify what it is and then let it go. The thought doesn't hang around long enough for worry to get a foot hold. It comes-I acknowledge it and it goes.
I also reconnected the comforting words of Jesus: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Peace removes worry from the moment. And the peace that Jesus gives us is a peace that passes all understanding. In times of worry or in times of happiness, moment by moment, peace can be ours. Just ask and receive.
Today, what's your worry?
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