A good poker player can call a bluff, by observing the other players "mannerisms." The give-away behavior is called a Tell. Some players are good at hiding their hand-that's why you see the goofy sunglasses. In the world of poker, deception is the rule.
But In the world of relationships, deception is bad. No one likes a phony. I want to be genuine in my relationships and expose what my true motives are. A motive is my "desire to act on something." It's the "why" behind my actions. Like poker players, we also have "tells" that give away our true motives.
One day I walk into "Big Jims" auto mall and Big Jim is ecstatic to see me. He can't contain himself. He tells me where the free coffee is and "that I better grab a fresh blueberry muffin before the finance staff eats them." Big Jim is blowing smoke and I spot his tell. He has no concern for my nutritional needs-he wants to sale me a car. He hides his true motives in the blueberry muffins.
It's so refreshing for a person to say what they mean and mean what they say. I want to have a genuine conversation with someone and communicate my true motives. It frees me from phoniness. I'm keeping it real. But If I try to hide my true motives, I will develop a "tell" which will be certain behaviors that give away my deception. People can spot the "tell" of an imposter.
When my motives match my actions, I am genuine in my relationships and true to myself. In poker I will hide my motives-in life I will show you my hand.
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