2 Way’s 2 Stop “Seeking the Approval” of Others

On a regular basis I stand in front of people-say something-and then get judged. And what's crazy is that I do this for a living. I train Social Workers and they're a tough crowd. It's brutal, especially if you seek the approval of others. I've been dogged by this affliction and have learned over time to be comfortable in my own "thick" skin.. Here are two way's to stop seeking a persons approval and enjoy them:

Separate the person from the approval. All of us have a desire to be accepted by others-we ask ourselves "will I fit in?" If I believe my approval is found in others, then I'll spend the better part of my life seeking it out. I go from person to person-group to group trying to prove my worth. My worth is not contingent upon your approval and it's unfair for me you to saddle you with that burden.

If I don't separate the "approval" from "you," I'll get stuck in an endless cycle of rejection which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. This cycle starts with the belief that "people will reject me." When I sense rejection-like in body language-I ratchet up the need for approval which then turns the person off and they reject me.

Accept imperfection in yourself and in others. If I no longer link my worth to your approval, I enjoy your company and can relax around you and you around me. The more I accept myself-even the unacceptable stuff-the more I accept you and no longer feel a need for your approval.

Life is too short to spend all that emotional energy in searching after something that is unobtainable-Approval from Others. Stop the search-accept yourself and enjoy others.