Dad and The Grad

I'm the proud father of a High School grad-Matt my oldest son. As he received his degree he had a spring in his step and a thousand pounds lifted off his shoulders. He turned towards the stands in our direction and gave us the thumbs up. My mind flashed to the day he was born. He was just a few minutes old when the doctor handed him to me. I asked the doctor "what do I do with him?" The doctor said "raise him-you have 18 years."

So here I am 18 years later watching Matt morph into a young man. But I was changing too. I was struck by the idea that Matt has more years ahead of him and is beginning his life and I have more years behind me and am winding down. I too was promoting to the next phase as a father-but without the fanfare and I was cool with that.

The role I held before was that of an active parent with the responsibility to make sure Matt had the stuff to make it to this place today. As he increased his responsibility I decreased mine-as he was taken more control of his life I was relinquishing it. My role was changing from a top down-authoritarian relationship to that of a partnership giving him advice. I was still his dad but in a different way. The change needed to happen-for my growth. Otherwise I'd be wearing a hat on backwards and a t shirt that read I'm with stupid.

The other ah ha moment came when I walked on the field after graduation. I saw Matt with a perpetual smile walking my way and he said "Dad I did it!"-HE did do it. His mom and I could only do so much but in the end Matt took what we gave him and-Did It.

I also realize that that there is power in the words a father imparts to his son. What I say can nudge him forward into manhood where he takes the mantle and moves forward or my words can deter his journey where he spends the rest of his life seeking the affirmation of being a man-a lot of times in the wrong places.

When Matt and my other two boys' were born, I made a concerted effort to speak affirmation into their lives as young men and as followers of Jesus. I am not the perfect father and I have probably made more mistakes. But on that football field watching Matt and his class walk the line-a Dad and his Grad made the next step in our father and son relationship. A journey I am looking forward to.

You Did it Son!