Keepin it Real

I tweet! On Twitter that is.

I can condense a thought into 140 characters-not bad. Twitter is not for the "chatty Cathy" types. I also do "Facebook" and can post an incoherent opinion in 420 characters. As I sit here in my favorite bagel place, I see about 7 other people tweeting or facebookin' or having some type of e-Conversation on their fancy iPads, laptops or Blackberry's.

We are so connected yet, at times, we're so alienated from one another. Now don't get me wrong, I like the new stuff. I'm a boomer and I tweet with the best of the Gen Xrs' or Millennials'. And Facebook has connected me with people I may never see again this side of heaven, so I am thankful.

But are we loosing something here? One cannot be "Together" online. This is a new phenomenon in which we give up intimacy for a virtual relationship. I want to balance my eChats with the timeless intimacy of relational "togetherness" that only takes place in the face to face-physical presence of the other-something we miss in our eWorld.

I'm Keepin it real and enjoying my eFriends at the same time. We could do both and be real.

Just an Ordinary Guy

The more I live, the more I long for the ordinary life. Everything seems so specialized-I don't like that. Maybe it's my age. I'm going through what my psychologist friend calls a "Life Passage"- Whatever.

But that's not what's bugging me. What really rubs me the wrong way are people who believe they have certain "specialness" that make them superior to me. You know how you can tell if they're special? Just ask them.

I don't know, maybe I'm growing weary of all the hand wringing and posturing going on among the "special" people out there. Like the Gnostics of old, these precious folks believe they have the hidden secrets on truth.

On TV I hear the special men and women wax eloquently on how pure they are. They pontificate how their political or "culturally-hyphenated" group is untainted by corruption like those other rascally groups are. Either you're a victim or an oppressor. It's all smoke. Their "specialness" is an illusion-an escape from the ordinary.

A friend told me of a cocky, braggadocios Mixed Martial Arts fighter he knew. One night this guy was "trash talking" and got into a heated altercation that ended up in the parking lot-the smug fighter pulled a punch and the other guy pulled a gun and shot the MMA warrior dead. His "specialness" couldn't save him.

The story is a reminder that there are certain things in this life that are bigger than us mere mortals-like death. Death is a great equalizer. Whether you're a (D) or an (R) or a "This-American" or a "That-American"-we all face death the same way.

Authenticity is another equalizer that chips away at our sense of "specialness" and forces us to face the stark realization that we are "ordinary." Just once it would be refreshing for someone to say "I'm just an ordinary guy, don't look to me for your needs."

There's freedom in the "ordinary." But many people do not want this freedom-so they hide behind their "specialness" and continue to be burdened down by the weight of the illusion of "specialness."

Hey I'm just an ordinary guy and I like it that way. And by the way, ordinary people do special things every once in a while.

Throwing Rocks

A group of men dragged a woman to the front of temple steps, to where Jesus was speaking. They proudly proclaimed her guilt: "this woman was caught in the act of adultery and the law say's to stone her, what do you say, Rabbi?" 

The accusers were lawyers just itching to catch Jesus in a legal trap. Their question smacked of self righteousness dripping with an insincere moral superiority. Would Jesus support the law or would he dismiss it and be regarded as a zealot? This was the biblical version of the political "gotcha" question.
 
The litigants picked up rocks to execute the sinner and showcase their "righteousness." But Jesus remained silent-he knew their intent. "How do you rule, teacher?" they demanded. Jesus knelt down beside the women and scribbled something in the dirt. "What will it be?" they pushed for His verdict.
 
Then Jesus stood up, faced the men and said "All right, stone her, but let those who have never sinned throw the first stone." Jesus words hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. And for a moment He rendered the "rock throwers" impotent. He flipped it on them. He ruled on the accused-then went inward to the heart of the accusers.
 
The rock throwers judgment was made in bad faith-an insincere, self righteous condemnation. They appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner-a position only reserved for the one true Judge-God-who is the "maker of heaven and earth who will one day judge the living and the dead."
 
Jesus knelt back down and finished writing in the dirt and one by one, beginning with the oldest; they dropped their rocks and walked away. Only Jesus and the woman were alone. He looked in her eyes and said "where are your accusers-did even one of them condemn you?"
"No" she said quietly.
Jesus replied "Then neither do I, go and sin no more."
 
Jesus made two judgments-one for the woman and the other for the "rock throwers." His judgment of the woman was animated by the law of love. This is operational law for those who live in the kingdom of God-followers of Christ.
 
Love governs my every action. Love first-then proceed with correcting, discerning and making a judgment-the New Testament word for making this "judging" is "krinos."
 
Jesus' condemnation of the rock throwers was not in the outward act of making a judgment, but the inward condition of the heart in which the judgment is made.
 
As the rock throwers lifted themselves up on the "bema" seat reserved only for the one true judge-God, they picked up their rocks. And in doing so they walked right into their own condemnation.

Live Free or Die

New Hampshire's state motto is "Live Free or Die." I like the ring to that-Live Free or Die-Yeah! Well, it sounds good until you're confronted with it. Freedom demands responsibility. Responsibility and Freedom are inseparable. A philosopher once said "Freedom is not the power to do what you want but the power to do what you ought."

Life's a struggle between two powerful and competing desires-to be free or to be taken care of. It's easy to choose the latter. Having others take care of me is safe, convenient and a life not worth living. As I defer my responsibility to others, I give up the ability to govern myself and I slowly die inside-Live Free or Die.

Freedom is a hard road to travel. It takes courage to make my own way in spite of my circumstances. But along the way I discover my true self and become authentic. I step out from the safety and invisibility of the crowd and stand alone as an individual. I become an "I" and no longer a "they." I am authentic and free.

Living the free life means I stop blaming others for my circumstances-I refuse to be a victim and take charge of my own life. Living the free life demands that I stop the narcissistic naval gazing and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. "Freedom" requires me to break the chains of the past and not allow my current predicament to define me.

I live among others as an individual. I'm obligated to others because I am free-I make that choice-it's not dictated to me. Victor Frankl, who survived the cruelties of a concentration camp and later wrote the seminal book "Man's Search for Meaning" stated that "everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

To "live free" is a choice, a hard one to be sure, but a worthwhile endeavor. Will you live free or die?

“Love” Let Me Count the Ways

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "The 4 Loves." I saw all 4 this morning at a bagel and bread place called Panera. I observed Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity within 30 minutes. First, I noticed a young couple in a booth, holding hands while eating. Never mind the fine motor skills it takes to accomplish this, but they appeared "in love."

Across from the "love birds" was a group of men discussing the bible and the BCS college football standings. Next to them, was a middle age man and his young daughter. The little girl was wiggling in her chair, singing a song about butterflies. The man smiled, hummed a few bars and quietly told the little one to be still and finish her food.

In all three conversations, love was being expressed. Love can be communicated many ways and is essential to cultivating a meaningful relationship where intimacy, care and regard for the other person are nurtured. C.S. Lewis describes the 4 Loves as:

Affection or Storge is a fondness through familiarity, a natural love without coercion.

Friendship or Phileo is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity.

Eros is the sense of being 'in love' which is distinct from sexuality which Lewis calls Venus. Eros can have a sexual expression but it does not define this love.

Charity or Agape is the unconditional care for a person regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes charity as the greatest of loves. He sees it as a Christian virtue. This love is expressed in God's unconditional love for us.

In the relationships we form, one or more of these "loves" is displayed. As I observed the "love fest" going on this morning, it gave me a sense of hope, in spite of all the anger and hate out there-love rules-let me count the ways. 

A Book Review “Mustain” The Story of Rocker Dave Mustain

Metal Rock Star, Dave Mustain, found the "one thing" missing from his life. And the journey almost killed him. That's the gist of his new book "Mustain." The reader travels down two paths. One path leads to the story of a multi platinum band; Megadeth, rocking the world on the biggest stages-in the glamorous and seedy world of rock and roll hedonism.

The second path leads to a small Texas town in the middle of nowhere on a freezing January night where Dave makes a decision that will change his eternal destination. The first path almost killed him and the second path brought him life.

As I was reading, It was like looking in the mirror of my own life. I felt a kindred spirit. We both grew up in Southern California during the promiscuous 70's and 80's. We surfed in the same waters off Huntington Beach. We both partied in the same haunts. We both were rock enthusiast of Heavy Metal and we both used music as a way of escape and meaning.

But this is where the analogy ends. Dave was a founding member of the band Metallica and then went on to form Megadeth-both were monster bands of metal rock. Right before Metallica was to launch into the legendary band they are now, Dave was unceremoniously booted out-an injustice that set him on a course of vengeance and self destruction.

His journey began from the chaos of a dysfunctional family-an abusive, alcoholic father who the family was constantly running from and a depressed mother who cleaned toilets to provide for her children.

In his quest to eclipse Metallica, he formed the band Megadeth and hit the big time. He traveled the world-had all the drugs, sex and anything that he wanted, all at his fingertips. One thing he could not find, was a way to heal the bitterness from his past rejections-first from his father and then from his close friends in Metallica.

He hated God because of an "authoritarian legalism" he experienced with his Mom and family who were Jehovah Witness'. He dabbled in witchcraft and even tried Buddhism and along with his abusive drug use, which included heroin-nothing filled the hole.

Then he met Pam. The relationship and subsequent marriage with Pam put Dave on the second path-the path that led to life-a path that included 17 times in re-hab. He and Pam had two kids. Pam went to church-Dave went to re-hab. Pam wanted a stable family life-Dave wanted drugs. Pam was counseled to leave the marriage-Dave wanted to die. Pam saw an attorney. Dave sought treatment for the 17^th time.

This leads us to, Hunt Texas, on a freezing January night-in a field, with a man named Le Roy. Right there, at a small wooden shack that acted as the chapel-without the spotlights, without the crowds-Dave Mustain said a simple prayer. He called Pam who also was praying and she knew in her heart Dave was a changed man.

His conversion snuck up on me-I didn't see it coming. Yet throughout the book I sensed a man searching, longing to fill the hole in his soul. And there it was in Hunt Texas. I thought wow; this is how God comes to us-this is how he came to us 2,000 years ago in a small town of Bethlehem in a dilapidated wooden manger. Salvation is not exploited by the worlds definition of success.

Dave Mustain has a long way to go and is not perfect-he struggles as all believers do. His path takes him through healing power of forgiveness for those who have hurt him deeply. He has a loving wife and two children who remind him where his priorities are.

And now his music-his passion-is no longer clouded by the drugs and darkness of a sinful life. He expresses his music on the biggest stage-the stage of eternal life. It's a great read. 

The Accuser: A Different View of Hate

 
Message to all accusers out there: Zip it!

Can't we have a conversation today without being smeared? Unfortunately that is not enough for the accusers among us-they love to spread dissension. If you tell a lie long enough and loud enough, people will believe it. Saul Alinski and Josef Gerbils would be proud.

In J.R.R. Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings', there is a character by the name of Grima son of Galmod, who used his false accusations to weaken the Kingdom of Rohan and deceive the King. The malicious smears took root in the kingdom and poisoned all that was good and decent.

Fortunately, goodness and truth prevailed in the person of Gandalf, he rebuked the accuser stating: "The wise speak only of what they know, Gríma son of Gálmód, a witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.

The accuser traffics "hate" through malicious accusations and slander. He appears charming and sensible-he slyly accuses his enemies as being haters. On the outside, the accuser portrays himself as "righteous." But on the inside, hatred has burned a hole in his soul.

His moral condemnations are eaten up by his sycophants, who in turn disperse the accusations with wild abandon. Many follow the accuser and believe his hateful lies. The accuser is undeterred in his defiance of the 9^th commandment: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." But today, "Slander" has become a multi-million dollar cottage industry-" Make a false accusation-file a lawsuit and hit the jackpot, Not a bad gig if you can get it.

Do not believe the lies of the accuser-he appears wise, but is full of hate. If we truly want a national conversation about important issues, goodness and truth will need to prevail. Disagree and debate all we want, but without lies, hate and false accusations. Do not be deceived-say no to hate-say no to the Accuser.