Showing posts with label authenticity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label authenticity. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Reflections on my Dad: Actions speak louder than words


One week has passed since God has called my Dad home. And I’m sitting here at my favorite bagel place, surveying my dads’ life through pictures him and my mom, when they were young, poor and free.  

My Dad was not from the “let it all hang out” generation, so saying a few things about him would most likely embarrass him.

But it is only now, that I am finally learning the lessons from his life; much of which were on the subconscious level. Whether he or I knew it at the time, my dad was teaching me life lessons.

I want to highlight a few in the next few blog posts.

The first one is actions speak louder than words:

I learned from my dad that actions speak louder than words: My dad came from a generation where one is measured by what they do. And if your actions matched your words, you could be trusted.

He didn’t wear his emotions on his sleeves and was impatient with ‘too much drama.’ I’m certain he went through stress and anxiety, and had many a sleepless night, but he didn’t let us in on it. 

My dad pretty much kept his worries and concerns inside. We rarely got a glimpse into his emotional state when we were going through hard times. Some may say he bottled it up inside. But this was a time when there wasn’t a lot of psychoanalysis going on.  

My dad came from a generation where men were to put their ‘hands to the plow’ and be providers for their families; pillars of strength in times of storms. 

He believed you work hard, never ask for any handouts and be responsible for your actions; period!
“Don’t blame your misfortunes on anyone or complain about your lot in life, just work hard and get on with It.” my dad would say. He wanted our actions to speak for itself, without a lot of grandstanding or fuss.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Just an Ordinary Guy

The more I live, the more I long for the ordinary life. Everything seems so specialized-I don't like that. Maybe it's my age. I'm going through what my psychologist friend calls a "Life Passage"- Whatever.

But that's not what's bugging me. What really rubs me the wrong way are people who believe they have certain "specialness" that make them superior to me. You know how you can tell if they're special? Just ask them.

I don't know, maybe I'm growing weary of all the hand wringing and posturing going on among the "special" people out there. Like the Gnostics of old, these precious folks believe they have the hidden secrets on truth.

On TV I hear the special men and women wax eloquently on how pure they are. They pontificate how their political or "culturally-hyphenated" group is untainted by corruption like those other rascally groups are. Either you're a victim or an oppressor. It's all smoke. Their "specialness" is an illusion-an escape from the ordinary.

A friend told me of a cocky, braggadocios Mixed Martial Arts fighter he knew. One night this guy was "trash talking" and got into a heated altercation that ended up in the parking lot-the smug fighter pulled a punch and the other guy pulled a gun and shot the MMA warrior dead. His "specialness" couldn't save him.

The story is a reminder that there are certain things in this life that are bigger than us mere mortals-like death. Death is a great equalizer. Whether you're a (D) or an (R) or a "This-American" or a "That-American"-we all face death the same way.

Authenticity is another equalizer that chips away at our sense of "specialness" and forces us to face the stark realization that we are "ordinary." Just once it would be refreshing for someone to say "I'm just an ordinary guy, don't look to me for your needs."

There's freedom in the "ordinary." But many people do not want this freedom-so they hide behind their "specialness" and continue to be burdened down by the weight of the illusion of "specialness."

Hey I'm just an ordinary guy and I like it that way. And by the way, ordinary people do special things every once in a while.
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