Just an Ordinary Guy

The more I live, the more I long for the ordinary life. Everything seems so specialized-I don't like that. Maybe it's my age. I'm going through what my psychologist friend calls a "Life Passage"- Whatever.

But that's not what's bugging me. What really rubs me the wrong way are people who believe they have certain "specialness" that make them superior to me. You know how you can tell if they're special? Just ask them.

I don't know, maybe I'm growing weary of all the hand wringing and posturing going on among the "special" people out there. Like the Gnostics of old, these precious folks believe they have the hidden secrets on truth.

On TV I hear the special men and women wax eloquently on how pure they are. They pontificate how their political or "culturally-hyphenated" group is untainted by corruption like those other rascally groups are. Either you're a victim or an oppressor. It's all smoke. Their "specialness" is an illusion-an escape from the ordinary.

A friend told me of a cocky, braggadocios Mixed Martial Arts fighter he knew. One night this guy was "trash talking" and got into a heated altercation that ended up in the parking lot-the smug fighter pulled a punch and the other guy pulled a gun and shot the MMA warrior dead. His "specialness" couldn't save him.

The story is a reminder that there are certain things in this life that are bigger than us mere mortals-like death. Death is a great equalizer. Whether you're a (D) or an (R) or a "This-American" or a "That-American"-we all face death the same way.

Authenticity is another equalizer that chips away at our sense of "specialness" and forces us to face the stark realization that we are "ordinary." Just once it would be refreshing for someone to say "I'm just an ordinary guy, don't look to me for your needs."

There's freedom in the "ordinary." But many people do not want this freedom-so they hide behind their "specialness" and continue to be burdened down by the weight of the illusion of "specialness."

Hey I'm just an ordinary guy and I like it that way. And by the way, ordinary people do special things every once in a while.

Live Free or Die

New Hampshire's state motto is "Live Free or Die." I like the ring to that-Live Free or Die-Yeah! Well, it sounds good until you're confronted with it. Freedom demands responsibility. Responsibility and Freedom are inseparable. A philosopher once said "Freedom is not the power to do what you want but the power to do what you ought."

Life's a struggle between two powerful and competing desires-to be free or to be taken care of. It's easy to choose the latter. Having others take care of me is safe, convenient and a life not worth living. As I defer my responsibility to others, I give up the ability to govern myself and I slowly die inside-Live Free or Die.

Freedom is a hard road to travel. It takes courage to make my own way in spite of my circumstances. But along the way I discover my true self and become authentic. I step out from the safety and invisibility of the crowd and stand alone as an individual. I become an "I" and no longer a "they." I am authentic and free.

Living the free life means I stop blaming others for my circumstances-I refuse to be a victim and take charge of my own life. Living the free life demands that I stop the narcissistic naval gazing and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. "Freedom" requires me to break the chains of the past and not allow my current predicament to define me.

I live among others as an individual. I'm obligated to others because I am free-I make that choice-it's not dictated to me. Victor Frankl, who survived the cruelties of a concentration camp and later wrote the seminal book "Man's Search for Meaning" stated that "everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

To "live free" is a choice, a hard one to be sure, but a worthwhile endeavor. Will you live free or die?