“Love” Let Me Count the Ways

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "The 4 Loves." I saw all 4 this morning at a bagel and bread place called Panera. I observed Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity within 30 minutes. First, I noticed a young couple in a booth, holding hands while eating. Never mind the fine motor skills it takes to accomplish this, but they appeared "in love."

Across from the "love birds" was a group of men discussing the bible and the BCS college football standings. Next to them, was a middle age man and his young daughter. The little girl was wiggling in her chair, singing a song about butterflies. The man smiled, hummed a few bars and quietly told the little one to be still and finish her food.

In all three conversations, love was being expressed. Love can be communicated many ways and is essential to cultivating a meaningful relationship where intimacy, care and regard for the other person are nurtured. C.S. Lewis describes the 4 Loves as:

Affection or Storge is a fondness through familiarity, a natural love without coercion.

Friendship or Phileo is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity.

Eros is the sense of being 'in love' which is distinct from sexuality which Lewis calls Venus. Eros can have a sexual expression but it does not define this love.

Charity or Agape is the unconditional care for a person regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes charity as the greatest of loves. He sees it as a Christian virtue. This love is expressed in God's unconditional love for us.

In the relationships we form, one or more of these "loves" is displayed. As I observed the "love fest" going on this morning, it gave me a sense of hope, in spite of all the anger and hate out there-love rules-let me count the ways. 

4 “Considerations” of Life

This is the first part of a 4 part post…

What does it mean to consider something?

To consider something means I ponder the "thought" without judgment. It takes practice to quiet the mind and just allow the idea to idle. It forces us to take a look at what is being considered. Author Steven Covey's "5th Habit" (out of his 7 Habits) says "Understand before being understood". When I consider, I move towards an understanding.

Life affords us many things to consider-some trivial and some deep. There are 4 things I have considered in the last few years that have put me on a path towards authenticity. I call them the "4 Considerations of Life" I invite you to consider them also-they are:

1. Consider God's love.
   
2. Consider one another.
   
3. Consider your words.
   
4. Consider your purpose.
   

Consider God's Love

Sounds easy right? Even Mother Theresa had doubts about God's love. We view God's love through a "cracked" lens. I begin my life with "blurred vision" as it pertains to love. From day one, I need love to thrive-that is "parental love" as expressed with physical touch and emotional affirmation. Human love is an essential Human need. It is a love of "mutuality" that is nurtured in relationships. And this is where it gets messy-for some people it brings profound pain and disappointment. So I'm not surprised that God's love gets thrown into this man-made mess. It would be easier to consider "Unicorns" than God's love for some.

God's Love is hard to fathom because there is no human equivalent. Parental love is the closest we come but even then, it is a two way street. God's love however is one way as it flows from His being without conditions to us. God does not say "I will love you, under one condition"-He strikes out the "under one condition" part and say's "I will love you". God's love is given freely-even when we were in rebellion towards him. His love is expressed sacrificially in the death of Jesus who was executed on a cross for us.

God's love is a "life transforming" love. His love gives life to a dead soul-no human love can do this. I was spiritually dead now I am alive. God's love is a perfect love. Not only does God love, He is Love. And He created me in His image therefore I am capable of giving love. As a "follower of Christ" I live under the "ethic of love" I am to love one another. But my love is not perfect. Sometimes I get it right-sometimes I blow it. When I consider God's love I'm grateful a perfect God loves an imperfect man like me.

When I think of God's love, the words of St Paul come to mind as he beautifully describes love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails". Considering God's love moves me towards this "ethic of love" and the desire to unshackle the hurt from the past-to live a free and authentic life.

So I ask you to consider God's love…