The Power of Self Awareness

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a store window and…WHOA. I was troubled by what I saw-my walk, my weight and my poor fashion choice. Who I thought I was and who I was, didn't match. Something went wrong in the reflection. I experienced a moment of self awareness and didn't like it-but I needed it.

Of course, a reflection only shows the outside and cannot show what's inside. But truth be told, I form a picture of myself on the inside based on my values and the standards of what I think a man my age should be like-I compare myself to others.

The perception is shallow and could be flawed. But if I look deeper into myself, I see what forms my character-the person I really am. Moments of self awareness do not change me from the outside-although a different shirt would have helped. Self awareness examines the deep parts of my character and that is where change and maturity happen.

Self awareness separates "myself" from my "perceived self" and I take an objective look at who I really am. I examine my motives, values and standards that I use to compare myself to others. I soon find out that either my values were out of sync or my perception of me was.

A conflict occurs when the two do not match. That moment I saw the reflection, I knew something was out of sync and self awareness brought me back in sync with my values. Practicing self awareness aligns your perceptions with your values.

I could spend a lot of time wondering how others see me but what is most important and where I begin is "how I see me." My reputation is how others see me but my character defines the real me. When reputation and character come together they form the genuine self. And Self awareness brings me closer to my character.

Abraham Lincoln once said: "Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." Self awareness follows the shadow to the tree.

Turning 50

I'm at Starbucks listening to Todd Rundgren's "Hello It's Me" on my iTunes-a retro song on a new gadget. I've been in this "time warp" lately. My mind is being transported back to the days of my youth. You see I turned 50 a few days ago and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Am I getting old or am I getting older? "Older" I can live with, but "Old" sounds, well-Old.

Turning 50 for a Man today has its challenges. Men need to have a purpose. Turning 50 in a young man's world gives me pause. I'm not whining and I refuse to be a victim. Turning 50 has its advantages and I still enjoy hanging out with my younger friends. But I began to notice some changes in the way I thought about my future, my life and my manhood. I noticed that the ambitions I had at 30 were no longer relevant at 50. When I was 30, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. But at 50 I'm climbing down that ladder. When I was 30, the race was before me-at 50 the finish line is before me. It's time to pass the baton-which is my legacy.

My friend Perry said "turning 50 is like sitting on a mountain peak, where you could look in the distance 30 years and see 80. Then turn and look 30 years behind you and see 20". 50 is the equi-center and I am now entering the second half. My task is to find a balance between feeling like a 25 year old and not acting like one.

There's a difference between being Cool and being Creepy. I can enjoy the company of my young friends without trying desperately to be like them. I use the "cool and creepy" test for most my interactions, like what I put on my Facebook status, to how I talk to a young lady.

The other thing I began to notice was, the things that bothered me in the past were no longer the "pebble in my shoe" today. I asked myself if the regrets and unresolved issues of my past are really worth carrying into the next phase. I could see the finish line. I want to finish the race without out that old baggage weighing me down.

Turning 50 is a gateway to the next phase of life and I'm going into it without the hang-ups of the past. Turning 50 helped me clarify what is most important in life and that is My Faith-My Family and My Friends.

Turning 50 is cool.