A Temper Tantrum at Target

We expect a two year old to have a temper-tantrum-sometimes we call this age the 'terrible twos'. But a two year old grows up and grows out of tantrums-right? Well, most do but some don't, and they become 22, 32 or 42 year old tantrums-not a pretty sight. My friend Tammy was the victim of a full blown-adult 'temper tantrum' at a Target store parking lot.

It started when an 'adult' lady (and I use that term loosely) pulled up behind my friend with her blinker on, which indicates she spotted the open parking space first. When Tammy saw the ladies blinker on, she gave her preference-which of course is the unspoken rule-no problem so far. Then Tammy saw a spot next to the lady open up, so she turned on her blinker, for that one.

Once Tammy hit the blinker-the lady hit the roof-she went from zero to ugly. It turned into a 'Jerry Springer incident'. The lady accelerated her tantrum from honking the horn-to swinging a purse-to spitting in Tammy's face. The entire freak show was witnessed by the ladies 12 year old daughter, who sat in the passenger seat, head down covering her face. The 12 year became the adult and apologized to Tammy for her mother's behavior. It's too bad the 12 year old wasn't the one driving and her mom in a child "car seat". Why are we observing so many Adult temper tantrums lately?

I don't believe we are worse off now than any other time in history-but let's face it-civility is taking a hit-adults are near the boiling point which sometimes spills over. Recently a Congressman, a Hip Hop star and Tennis pro were unable to keep it together and they hit the ugly button. There may be many causes, but it all boils down to self control-the ability to govern our emotions.

There are two competing urges we fight daily, one is an infantile need "to be taken care of" and the other is a desire to be 'responsible for ourselves'-the first one makes no demands-the latter one demands responsibility. The first one breeds entitlement-the latter one breed's autonomy. If we don't govern ourselves-we will be governed. The lady at Target chose to be governed by her emotions.

4 “Considerations” of Life: cont’

In my Last post, I spoke of 4 "things" I have considered that have put me on a path towards authenticity. I call them the "4 Considerations of Life" they are:

1. Consider God's Love.
   
2. Consider One Another
   
3. Consider Your Words.
   
4. Consider Your Purpose.
   

I conclude with the other 3 considerations-but first a recap on God's Love.

Consider God's Love

Sounds easy right? Even Mother Theresa had doubts about God's love. We view God's love through a "cracked" lens. I begin my life with "blurred vision" as it pertains to love. Human love is an essential Human need. It is a love that is expressed in relationship to one another. And this is where it gets messy-for some people it brings profound pain and disappointment. So I'm not surprised that God's love gets thrown into this man-made mess. It would be easier to consider "Unicorns" than God's love for some. Read the rest here: http://thepirateway-bob.blogspot.com/2009/09/4-considerations-of-life.html

Consider One Another

I like to sit and watch people-not in some creepy-stalker way, but to practice empathy. Empathy is "walking in another persons shoes" as Carl Rogers defined it. "Considering" the other person is practicing empathy. Empathy is not passive-it is actively developing a curiosity and wonder about my friend or the person I interact with. When I consider "you", I train my mind to listen for what is important in your life-what are your anxieties-your hopes and your goals? What does "life" look like through your eyes? I stop making assumptions, because my focus is on your life and not my interpretation of it.

Consider your words

Your words are a window into your heart. What you say reflects who you are. If your word means nothing-your
integrity means nothing. I had an unfortunate experience the other night. I listened to 4 politicians on a Sunday talk show saying a lot of words that mean nothing-hollow promises that reflect their shallow character. Many politicians have "spin doctors" and "pollsters" that tell them what to say and how to say it-they're empty shells. When I consider my words-I consider who I am and my responsibility in what I say. Let your words and your actions match-say what you mean and mean what you say and as Jesus say's "Let your yes be yes and your no be no".

Consider your Purpose

Why are you here? When I consider my purpose, I begin with this belief: My life means something. My life is intentional-it has meaning and a purpose. When I consider my purpose, I consider my worth. I also realize that God has given me a path by which I walk and along the way my purpose interacts with loved ones, friends and acquaintances. My purpose has a responsibility attached to it. Will I squander my purpose? When I die what will my epitaph say? That will have been my purpose.

10 Ways to Cool It

People are on the edge. They're about ready to explode. It's like a slow burn bubbling below the surface-F Bombs-Rudeness-Hostility-Disrespect-tick-tick-tick-BOOM. I began to feel the heat and decided I needed to cool it before I got burned. So I changed some behaviors in my daily routine. I tried 10 different ways to cool it. I began feeling the difference right away.

Feeling the heat? Well you can cool it too. Try these ten things below for 1 month and feel the slow burn-cool down.

1. Smile at people you see today-not in some creepy way but just be natural.
   
2. Turn off news and politics
   
3. Turn on music-something you can chill to-but stay away from Death-Metal
   
4. Listen to what people say-don't respond right away-just ponder and then speak if necessary
   
5. Don't talk too much about your self
   
6. Read something inspirational
   
7. Laugh at yourself
   
8. Run or walk-just get your body moving
   
9. Quiet the noise
   around you. Find a quiet place with natural sounds like waves crashing on the beach or the wind rustling through the trees. Take in the silence
   
10. Think on the things God has blessed you with-family, friends, happiness, health…
    

Stay Cool.