What change looks like; moving beyond the status quo

My friend was baffled as to why her 20 year old daughter was avoiding getting her driver’s license.

“When I was 15, I couldn’t wait to drive; I would beg my parents to take me to an empty parking lot, so I could practice” my friend said.

Since the dawn of time, we have grappled with the question as to when, why and how people come to change their behavior, and why it seems some people don’t.

In my view, a person will consider to change when they are ready, willing and able. To some this may sound cliché, but experts who have studied change, have found that these three characteristics are present when a person chooses to break-with the status quo.

To be ready means I perceive change as a ‘priority.’ To be willing means that I perceive change as ‘important’ and when I am able, I feel confident to change.

Psychoanalyst Rollo May say’s “Change takes place when a person perceives the change is relevant to achieving or preserving something important.”

Change expert James Prochaska and other colleagues, constructed a path by which change takes place. This path takes a person through a series of steps away from resistance toward a commitment (see below)   

                         

The Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change:

                         Precontemplation (Not Ready)

                         Contemplation (Getting Ready)

                         Preparation (Ready)           

                         Action        

                         Maintenance           

             

To be sure, no one goes through these steps smoothly, it’s more like three steps forward and two steps back. Change takes place in small steps.

Let’s say my friend’s daughter is in the precontemplation stage. At this stage, she is not ready to change and most likely will not do anything about getting her driver’s license (DL) within the next 6 months, so says Prochaska.

Now, let’s say she moves towards contemplation. It is at this point that she is considering the importance of driving and getting her license; she is ‘willing’ and will probably make some personal movement towards getting her DL within the next 6 months.

As my friend’s daughter considers the importance of getting the license, she sees it as a priority and will move to the preparation or ready stage. Most likely she will be going to the DMV within the month.

This may also be called the “tipping point.”  

By the time she reaches the action stage, she has already gone down to the DMV (within the last 6 months) and is moving forward by becoming familiar with driving full time.   

The maintenance stage is the point where the daughter has been driving with her license for more than 6 months and is strengthening her resolve to keep it going. She is beginning to feel confident (able) in her driving skills.

Change is all around us. It is fluid and invites us to jump on and move forward. But we will only get on board when we are ready, willing and able and not anytime sooner.