“Temperance” the Virtue of the Boomers

I Tweet! Nobody tweeted in my Dad's generation. It's even difficult to say "I Tweet". I'm a "Boomer." My boy's tell me I'm cool because "I don't try to act cool or "phat" or "sick" or whatever the hip young lingo is today-whatev!

Truth is, I'm ok being a youthful 50 year old guy, who doesn't take himself too seriously-life's too short for all this naval gazing. But you will never see me wearing "Docker" short pants that come just above the knee, a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and a fanny pack. Nor will I wear a T shirt that say's "I Dated Your Girlfriend." (But I do wear a sweatshirt that say's "Old Guy's Rule" just to remind the kids I'm not dead yet.)

50 is a key age. My friend Jennifer say's we're not "ratcheting it up" we are "ratcheting it down" in regards to our career goals. My friend Perry said "turning 50 is like sitting on a mountain peak, where you could look in the distance 30 years and see 80. Then turn and look 30 years behind you and see 20". 50 is the equi-center-my task is to find a balance between feeling like a 25 year old and not acting like one-enter the Virtue of Temperance.

Temperance is a cool virtue for a 50 year old guy like me. Temperance keeps me balanced between being creepy and being cool-it forces me to use "reason" before acting on my impulses. As blogger Doug Mc Manaman say's "It brings order to the emotions of love, hate, sensible satisfaction, desire, aversion and sorrow as they bear upon a pleasant good." http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/education/ed0281.html

So I will tweet with temperance and try to put my thoughts in 140 characters-yikes.

2 Way’s 2 Stop “Seeking the Approval” of Others

On a regular basis I stand in front of people-say something-and then get judged. And what's crazy is that I do this for a living. I train Social Workers and they're a tough crowd. It's brutal, especially if you seek the approval of others. I've been dogged by this affliction and have learned over time to be comfortable in my own "thick" skin.. Here are two way's to stop seeking a persons approval and enjoy them:

Separate the person from the approval. All of us have a desire to be accepted by others-we ask ourselves "will I fit in?" If I believe my approval is found in others, then I'll spend the better part of my life seeking it out. I go from person to person-group to group trying to prove my worth. My worth is not contingent upon your approval and it's unfair for me you to saddle you with that burden.

If I don't separate the "approval" from "you," I'll get stuck in an endless cycle of rejection which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. This cycle starts with the belief that "people will reject me." When I sense rejection-like in body language-I ratchet up the need for approval which then turns the person off and they reject me.

Accept imperfection in yourself and in others. If I no longer link my worth to your approval, I enjoy your company and can relax around you and you around me. The more I accept myself-even the unacceptable stuff-the more I accept you and no longer feel a need for your approval.

Life is too short to spend all that emotional energy in searching after something that is unobtainable-Approval from Others. Stop the search-accept yourself and enjoy others.

Budgets, Programs and the Gospel-oh my

If

A nice lady, at a table next to me, wanted to share my outlet for her lap top. As she was "plugging in", her cell phone rang. I soon realized that she was pouring out her heart to a fellow church attendee about the mismanagement of her Church and its incompetent Pastor. A conversation I was well accustomed too-unfortunately.

"The Pastor has no 'business plan' for the Church" the lady said. She then exclaimed "the people with the power, who run the church, will not tithe if their agenda is not met." This is, sad to say, a common attitude of the disgruntled and misguided Christian. The lady next to me was hurt because of this "political power" struggle in her beloved Church. At one time or another, all of us, who are involved in Church, have experienced this "ugly side" of the Christian community.

These "power struggles" are not new and illustrate the corruptive power of "the love of money" as Paul say's in I Timothy 6:10: "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."(NIV)

Using tithes as a "protest" is sin, plain and simple, so the lady next me was right to be upset. But this attitude is also reflective of a "consumer" mindset that has permeated the Church-the Body of Christ. (I wrote about this also in my post: "CEO" Pastor: http://thepirateway-bob.blogspot.com/2009/05/ceo-pastor.html)

In the Organizational Church (OC) the paid Pastoral staff put together a "religious service" and delivers it weekly. Most believers are blessed by the ministry, but in this "religious event" there is an expectation, that lingers just below the conscious level, that the "service" meet the needs of the parishioner, since the people putting it on are paid professionals.

It is from this un-biblical expectation we experience "attitudes" like this lady was discussing with her friend. How many times have you heard people say "the worship was too loud" or "the sermon was long"-as if the worship or the sermons are products? This "consumer" mindset put's the focus on programs and the paid professionals. It takes the focus off the simplicity of the Gospel where the ethic of love rules.

The Organizational Church must fight this "consumer" mindset. The Church-in all its forms-is first and foremost the body of Christ and we are witnesses to His Gospel. I no longer attend the organizational church. I lead a simple church-a house church. I'm not foolish to believe the HC is superior to the OC. Those of us in House Churches must fight a prideful attitude that this is the "true way" to do church. But all of us-OC or HC-who are under the headship of Christ must be diligent to live a kingdom life of love and not a consumer life of mammon.


 

 

 

7 Value Statements

I get annoying e mails from time to time-you know the ones that say "Send this to 10 of your friends in the next 15 minutes or your cubicle will explode." Every once in a while I get a gem. So here is a cool "Code of Behavior" e mail I want to share with you. Please forward this on to 10 of your friends or you'll rip your pants in a Wal-Mart Clearance aisle…

                     Code of Behavior

1. Be Impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say what you mean.
   
2. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you-it's a projection of their own reality.
   
3. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
   
4. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment.
   
5. Whoever comes are the right people.
   
6. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
   
7. When it's over it's over.

A Million Miles in A Thousand Years: A Book Review

I'm a big fan of Donald Miller http://donmilleris.com/ . (I'll refer to Donald Miller as DM for brevity and becuase I'm lazy)

I've read all of his books. So it was just a matter of time and a Borders gift card that I would get his latest book: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." The book highlights a time in DM's life when two filmmakers sat down with him to write his story based on the book "Blue like Jazz". One problem, DM's life was pretty boring-or so he thought. And so he began the hard work of editing it.

My life is a story mostly lived on the unconscious level where meaning and purpose are sacrificed for comfort and safety. DM's life was not boring-just the opposite-he was not willing to push himself into a better story. 
In the book DM walks into his bedroom and he realized there were no pictures on the mantle-no real tangible evidence of living a real story. His home was more like a stage with props in which he was living a fake story instead of a real human narrative.

"Editing" my life is hard work because it demands that I dig deep-take risks and challenge the status quo. Conscious stories are not formed in the safety of the familiar. Meaning is found in a good story-a conscious story. 
What are the elements of a good story and how can I edit my life to create a good story? DM uses his experience to answer these questions.

Elements of a meaningful life: "A story is a character that wants something and overcomes conflict to get it" this is the essence of a good story.

A Character is what he does: It is a person's actions that point to their humanity. We see what a person "is" when they make choices under pressure.

Inciting Incident: DM's reason why he has no clear ambition is because, once he stands up and points to the horizon, he realizes how much he has to lose. For DM it was meeting his father who abandoned him, and his mother when he was a child. It was fear that kept him from pursuing this desire-fear that his dad would reject him-again. DM does meet his dad and brings on the inciting incident which pulls this part of the story to the conscious level. His father asks Don for forgiveness and Don accepts and for the first time he sees his dad in a new light.

The reason God doesn't fix you yet: DM reminds us that the fantastical climaxes in movies and books do not happen in real life. We do reach goals and have success-to be sure, but after that achievement the story doesn't end-the hard work begins. Some Christians also give the false impression-on the unconscious level mostly-that Jesus will take care of your problems. This is not true and definitely not biblical-Jesus gives us hope and invites us into His suffering. Our story includes walking in hope in the midst of pain. There is no utopia.

Manmade or Jesus made-there is no utopia this side of heaven. No act of man is going to make things on earth perfect-an enormous amount of damage is created by the myth of utopia. It creates unreal expectations.

Individuals are not the only ones with stories-our culture has a narrative also: In the book DM attends a writer's conference by legendary screenwriter Robert McKee to find out what makes a good story. McKee defines "an interesting story is one that highlights archetypes as opposed to stereotypes." Archetypes are universal human traits and stereotypes are traits limited exclusively to a group. 
I find this true in a "cultural story" or narrative. For example in our culture today there is a strong push to identify with your "group" and in doing so we nurture stereotypes-note our incessant need to hyphenate our "group" with being an American.

We live in a world where bad stories teach us that life has no meaning and that humanity has no great purpose. But we can edit our lives and create better stories.


 

 

The Book of Eli-a Movie Review

**Warning: Spoiler Alert**

I saw the movie "The Book of Eli". We got to the theater at 2:30 and realized it had just started, so we went in not to miss anything. But I did miss out on the popcorn and large diet coke I usually get before a movie. Oh well. 
The movie is shot in what I would call "end of the world" colors like grays and sepia. And the feel is one of desolation. I got this eerie feeling of lostness.

One man by the name of Eli (Denzel Washington) was in possession of the Bible-the only remaining copy. The movie was a mix between "Mad Max" and "Lord of the Rings". Eli needed to go west and deliver this prized book to a place where it would be valued and re printed for future generations. 
During his travels he encountered bands of people all surviving for themselves. The world was a place of anarchy and all civilized restraint was removed- humanity and water were rare and both were held captive by evil men.

But there was a deep longing for the book Eli had. One guy who wanted it was a man named Carnegie (Gary Oldman ). But he wanted the book to control people. Carnegie and Eli had one thing in common, they both knew the power of the words in the book and how it can transform a person. 
It's hard to imagine, not having access to a bible. I mean I could swing a dead cat in any direction and hit a Bible or someone who owns one.

The movie had conflicts that symbolized some spiritual lessons:

• Eli knew the bible can set people free-Carnegie knew the bible could control people. One used it for good and the other used it for bad.
  
• Eli was physically blind but spiritually he could see. Carnegie could physically see but was spiritually blind.
  

The Pharisees were the "spiritually blind" in Jesus day. They used the bible to condemn people and control them. This "condemning" spirit lives in our churches today. We call it legalism. A "legalist" is an angry person who has a knee jerk response to condemn people-and in doing so they condemn themselves. 
Carnegie eventually get's the bible from Eli but finds out he can't read it. Since Eli was blind the copy Eli had was in Braille. The word was in Carnegie's hands but not his heart.

During the movie we meet a young woman named Solera (Mila Kunis). She is taught by Eli the value of the word and its power to use for good. At the end of the journey, Eli recites the entire bible by memory to a Scribe so that the words are forever kept. But Solera takes the "Book" and returns to the world where she came from, but with the power to set people free.

Pirateway's TOP 10 Bassists

I listed my top 20 guitarists a while ago (see my notes) now I would like to honor those who bring the bottom: the underrated but VIP bassists: here's my top ten:

1. John Paul Jones/Led Zep

2. Flea/RHCP

3. Jack Bruce/Cream

4. Les Claypool/Primus

5. Tim Commerford/RATM-Audioslave

6. Cliff Burton/Metallica

7. John Persh/Rare Earth

8. Robert Trujillo

9. John Entwistle/Who

10 Geddy Lee/Rush

Up and coming: Josh Abair/Sky Beneath Diary...